1. Does your partner frequently focus on their own needs while neglecting yours?  

   a) Yes, they hardly ask about my day.  

   b) Sometimes, but they do show interest occasionally.  

   c) No, they are very attentive to my needs.  

2. Do you find yourself frequently feeling anxious or walking on eggshells around your partner?  

   a) Yes, I’m always worried about upsetting them.  

   b) Occasionally, it depends on their mood.  

   c) No, I feel comfortable expressing myself.  

3. Does your partner often belittle or criticize you, even about small things?  

   a) Yes, they often make me feel worthless.  

   b) Sometimes, but it’s usually in a joking manner.  

   c) No, they are supportive and encouraging.  

4. Have you noticed a pattern of manipulation or guilt-tripping in your partner's behavior?  

   a) Definitely, it’s a constant in our relationship.  

   b) Occasionally, but it’s not that frequent.  

   c) No, they’re pretty straightforward with me.  

5. Do you feel like your partner tries to control aspects of your life, such as your friendships or interests?  

   a) Yes, they often discourage me from seeing friends.  

   b) Sometimes, but I can push back when needed.  

   c) No, they encourage my independence.  

6. When conflict arises, does your partner often shift blame onto you or refuse to acknowledge their part?  

   a) Yes, they never take responsibility for their actions.  

   b) Sometimes, but they do apologize on occasion.  

   c) No, we have constructive discussions about issues.  

7. Do you often feel exhausted or drained after spending time with your partner?  

   a) Yes, I often feel emotionally depleted.  

   b) Occasionally, but there are good moments too.  

   c) No, I feel energized after our time together.  

8. Have you noticed a change in your self-esteem since being in this relationship?  

   a) Yes, I feel much worse about myself now.  

   b) It has fluctuated, but I try not to let it affect me.  

   c) No, I feel confident in myself.  

Scoring

Count your responses:

- Mostly A’s: You may be experiencing narcissistic abuse. The signs you’ve identified indicate a pattern of narcissistic behavior that can be damaging to your emotional well-being. It’s important to seek support, whether through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends and family.

- Mostly B’s: You might be in a complicated relationship. There are some narcissistic tendencies present, but there are mixed experiences as well. Reflect on specific behaviors and consider seeking advice to navigate your situation more effectively.

- Mostly C’s: Your relationship seems healthy. You appear to have a balanced relationship where both partners respect each other’s needs. Continue nurturing open communication and mutual support.